Change is something I’ve struggled with a lot throughout life, but change is something that is constantly there. It causes me to have massive moodswings, to need much, much more ‘me’ time and it will often take me a while internally to sort myself out. Outwardly I seem to be handling it all alright.
Change is natural and needed. A stag sheds his antlers every year and grows new ones. Flowers bloom and fall back for winter, trees change colour and drop their leaves, baby boar lose their humbug stripes and become big hairy creatures. Through these things, they move forward.
Over the many massive changes I’ve had to work though I’ve developed a few coping mechanisms, a lot of which revolve around something called ‘mindfulness’.
Mindfulness is the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which can be developed through the practice of meditation and other training.
Basically – its forcing yourself to stop worrying about then and start focusing on the now. What can be done right now to change the situation? What can YOU do immediately? Nothing? Then stop worrying.
Its OK to worry for a little bit, but try putting a time limit on it, try saying ‘right, OK, I’m going to allow myself to feel weird for an hour, then I’m going to force myself to focus on something else.’ This helps me a lot – as does reading books, ‘aimlessly’ scrolling twitter, gaming and cooking. Giving myself something else to do when I’m fretting about something I have no control over really helps.
This too shall pass.
Focusing on knowing that no matter what, the sun will come up tomorrow, and the sun will go down tomorrow helps. Think of unchangeable situations like the rain, and all you need to do is put up an umbrella. That umbrella may be some you-time, a visit to the doctor, some medication, a weekend away. The rain will stop – and if the rain isn’t stopping then there’s something influencing that that a visit to the doctor or an offload onto a great friend can help you find and change.
I’m also a strong advocate of ‘no zero days’. If you’ve got out of bed, you’ve accomplished something. Here’s a link to the original post: LINK – but below are the 4 ‘rules’.
1. No More Zero Days
- Promise yourself that you will do one thing every day that takes you one step closer to your goal(s)
2. Be Grateful To The Three “You”s
- Past Self: Thank your past self for the favours they did for you
- Present Self: Do your future self a favour – they deserve it!
- Future Self: Your absolute best friend, and a great person.
3. Forgive Yourself
- It’s okay to fuck up. Forgive your past self, and be a better friend for your future self.
4. Exercise and Books
- Get your heart rate up and try to read when you can. Also the easiest way to avoid a Zero Day!
In a nutshell: keep on keeping on, and nothing… nothing is worth giving up on yourself.